A Child from a Broken Home

When I was 8 my parents got divorced. I was devastated. Then at some point my mom got remarried. My step father was a great guy. He was around the majority of my childhood.

 If someone asked me I would say, growing up I lead mostly a normal childhood. I say mostly cause you would assume that if a kid has a mother and father figure in the home that all would be good right?


Mostly the kids who have two parents in the household turn out to be relatively more normal than the kids who only have 1 parent.


However there is just something about little girls and needing to know that your father loves you. Let me share something with you that has taken me my whole life to figure out. Little girls who lack a regular relationship with their biological father have issues with men their entire life.


I know you have heard people say, “Oh, she has Daddy Issues”. Well it’s true. Not having a relationship with your natural father can screw you up for life.


I have first hand knowledge of this. I have went thru many men in my lifetime. It’s never been about sex. It was always about trying to find the one that “really” loved me. The one that I could trust. The one that would never leave me. The one who had my back. The one who would never cheat on me. The one who would make me feel needed. I have wasted many years of my life searching.


I have been married (3) three times. My current husband is the best. He is loyal, he would never cheat on me, and he truly loves me. I love him. I would never leave him.


But………………………………………..


Am I truly happy? Will I ever be?


Sometimes I wonder if I would be better off alone.

Sci-Fi Expo 2010

Once again I'll be at the great Sci-Fi Expo. April 24-25 at the Richardson Convention Center, Sat: 11:00 am to 6:00 pm and Sun: Noon to 4:00 pm. Click here for details.

Media guests (so far) include:
Adam Baldwin (Firefly and Chuck)
Bruce Boxleitner (Tron)
Mira Furlan (Rousseu from LOST)
Richard Hatch and Kate Vernon (BSG) and more

Comic Artists (so far) include...
Brian Denham
James O'Barr
Keith Wilson
Ben Dunn and more

Top 4 Reasons SEX is dangerous in the Shower

Top 4 reasons you should not have sex in the shower.

I am going to share with you today; my top (4) FOUR reasons why having sex in the shower can be dangerous.

You ask how I know this, well from personal experience of course. Come on people, pay attention.

This is very important information that everyone needs to know. As they say around my work place, “We don’t need any recordables today people”.


So here is My list of d o n ’t ’s. Of course, you have to take into consideration this is the “Winder” household we are talking about. Pretty much anything goes.  The Winders have a whole different set of rules you know.


#1 you should not shave in the shower if your planning on sex. Definitely make sure you remove all razors from the shower first. You do not want any accidents involving the wiener. Ouch, that can be painful. In addition, that can result in no sex that day.
#2 I do not reconmend it  if  you have a small shower area where there is not enough room for a linebacker size man and a small women at the same time. Let me just say flying like an eagle, a loofah sponge and ass crack can result in a wrist or head injury.


#3 Shower sex can also result in putting your neck/back out. If you have just the standard size tub, you should never, I repeat  n e v e r  try and lie down in the tub and have sex. That most definitely can result in week’s worth of chiropractor visits. Also your co-workers will only believe you so many times, after saying you don't know how you put your back out.


#4 Shampoo/Conditioner can cause a real rukus in the shower. You know sometimes bottles leak and run down the side of the tub. If you are screwing around in the shower in the dark doggy style and don’t know there is a “slick” spot this can seriously cause a pulled groin injury as a result of trying to over compensate.

So what have you learned today people?

That it is without a doubt

very dangerous

to have sex in the shower.

 If you insist on trying it anyways,

don’t say I didn’t try and warn you.

Fuck at your own risk.

A Different VIEW

Sketched By: SoccerMom

Whats Inside- Total Fitness

Plain and simple being fit is hard work. It requires dedication, determination, and drive.

If anyone ever tells you that losing weight or being fit is easy, they are full of crap.

I have been working on being ”fit” since I was probably 12 years old. That was when it first started. The nicknames my family had for me (Sam Sausage). I was a pudgy kid no doubt. The nicknames were all in good fun. They weren’t said in a mean or hurtful way. It was a fact that I loved to eat.


Since then I have been actively working on my “weight”. It got worse my freshman year of H.S., but then again what teen doesn’t focus too much on their appearance? I started first with weighing myself all the time. I was obsessed with it.


By my freshman year I started the “throwing up”. This was my way of eating whatever I wanted and not putting on the weight. I was also in control and boy did that feel good to be in charge of something. As teen there are so many times when you feel everything is out of control.


I went on like this for a couple of years before my mom finally caught on. After that, for a long time I wasn’t allowed to go to the bathroom after eating or even use the bathroom unless the door was left open. At that time I weighted 115lbs.


When I got married and left home, I started it back up again. Trying to shed all that weight that I had put back on. At this point I weighted 125lbs. OMG, I was a tub of lard. No not really but I felt that way. Seriously I lived in California. All the women there are tan, skinny, and hot looking. No freakin pressure there.


So when I couldn’t loose the weight I decided that maybe I should just get pregnant. Seemed like a good time at the time. By the way, I put on 40lbs with my first pregnancy.


In the last 20 years I have only done it a couple of times. At what point I decided to stop, I don’t really know. Besides all that acid is really bad on the enamel on your teeth.


Even though now I don’t make myself throw up anymore, it doesn’t mean I still don’t struggle daily/hourly with my weight and appearance. I don’t know if I will ever get over it.


Bulimia and Anorexia doesn’t just affect girls. It can affect boys also. Be cautious when approaching any teen about their weight. One wrong comment can send them down a path of lifetime destructive.


I’m not here to place blame. I accept full responsibility. I know for me personally it was multiple things that set me down this path. I didn’t choose to be this way, but here I am.


I share this with you because anyone who has a child (boy or girl) at the pre teenage should be aware of the signs.


I know that you are aware of this but, set a healthy eating example for your kids while they are young. They watch you and want to be just like you.

Dead@17 Sketch Cards - My Full Set

Here is a look at all the cards I did for 5finity Productions' Dead@17 Sketch Card Series . The first two cards (upper left corner) I got back as "Artist Exclusives". I already sold the first one to a collector. If anyone is interested in the second, drop me a line (contact at calslayton.com).

UPDATE: Both cards are now sold.

BAND of the WEEK

BOSTON

This band is a personal favorite of mine. I used to listen to them all the time in H.S.

Boston is an American rock band from Boston, Massachusetts that achieved its most notable successes during the 1970s and 1980s. Centered on guitarist, keyboardist, songwriter, and producer Tom Scholz, the band is a staple of classic rock radio playlists.

Boston's genre is considered to be hard rock, while combining elements of progressive rock and heavy metal into their music.

Boston's best-known works include the songs "More Than a Feeling", "Peace of Mind", "Foreplay/Long Time", "Rock and Roll Band", "Smokin'", "Don't Look Back" and "Amanda".
Tom Scholz first started writing music in 1969 while he was attending MIT.

They have sold over 31 million albums in the United States, of which 17 million are their self-titled album.

Current band members:

Tom Scholz: lead guitar, bass, keyboards, percussion, backing vocals (1976–present)
Michael Sweet: lead vocals, guitar (2008–present)
Tommy DeCarlo: lead vocals, keyboards, percussion (2008–present)
Gary Pihl: guitars, keyboards, backing vocals (1985–present)
Kimberley Dahme: bass, vocals (2001–present)
Jeff Neal: drums, percussion, backing vocals (2002–present)


Past band members:
Brad Delp (deceased): lead vocals, rhythm guitar, keyboards, percussion (1976–1989, 1994–2007)
Jim Masdea: drums, percussion, keyboards (1983–1988)
Barry Goudreau: guitars, backing vocals (1976–1981)
Sib Hashian: drums, percussion, backing vocals (1976–1983)
Fran Sheehan: bass, backing vocals (1976–1983)
David Sikes: vocals, bass, keyboards (1987–1997)
Doug Huffman: drums, percussion, keyboards, backing vocals (1987–1994)
Curly Smith: drums, percussion, harmonica, backing vocals (1994–1997)
Fran Cosmo: lead vocals, guitar (1993–2006)
Anthony Cosmo: guitar, backing vocals (1997–2006)
Anthony Citrinite: drums (2001–2002)
Tom Hambridge: drums (2002)

I am the MACHINE

Do you ever feel as if you just go , go, go. Not really thinking anymore. Just flying on auto-pilot cause this is your life? When is it   your/my   time to do what we would like to do? After the kids move out? Go to college?

I’m not saying having kids isn’t a kick ass time. I love my kids more than anything. But I think at some point I have lost track of who I am. (I blame it on being a young mom) I know that has had its pros and cons.


Even with older kids, I am still the one picking up after everyone, ironing their clothes, and fixing their meals (breakfast, lunch, and dinner). At what freakin age should you be able to iron your own  damn clothes? Am I too soft?


I do take responsibility, that it’s partly my fault for letting things get this far. I love my kids. I so want them to be happy. It's just you have to learn to put your foot down when that time comes for them to start taking responsibility for their own life. Not try to change them 10 years later.


The other part of the problem is that I am a control freak. I have a hard time letting go of things and allowing others to jump in and help out.


Up until recently my kids have never even done chores. My son will do chores now, but only if I pay him. My sportsman thinks that they are spoiled. That I allow them to have it “too” easy. He thinks I am making it harder for them. That later when they are out on their own in the real world they won't know what to do.

I disagree. I am not one of those tough love kinda moms.  I am a ALL love kinda mom. I am not a push over, but I also don’t ride their ass about things. I am somewhere in the middle. I’m certainly not saying I havent made mistakes. I was a young mom remember. What the hell do you or anyone know at  21??? I did they best I could.


I know I complain a lot about not having any “Me” time or when will it be time for just my sportsman and I. It's just a natural response.


Honestly, I’m torn. I read other ppl’s blogs that still have little kids and sometimes it makes me sad. As much as I want them to grow up and be out there in the big world, for my own selfish reasons I also want them to stay young forever, to want to stay home and snuggle with me in bed and watch tv.

It’s just how long can one person keep going

 before the energy just runs out?
 I don't want to die before
I get the chance to "Live" again.

RACCOON

Everyone knows about my constant problems with those damn possums that frequent our back yard.

 These are same damn possums that my wiener dog thinks he can out smart. I am pretty sure Rufus has yet to catch on, to the possum’s silly little games of “Playing Dead”.

So the other night my daughter comes into my room, it must have been around midnight. At this time of night, I am dead to the world (since most of the time I am in bed asleep by 8pm). So she does one of those “kid” things, where they tip toe over very quietly into my room right up next to my bed and then she just stood there really close to my face. Waiting, for what I don’t freakin know. But then you get that feeling someone is watching you and I woke up. It scared the holy crap out of me.

So my daughter says, “mom, there is someone outside in our trash can” (BTW, our trashcan is one of those huge ones with a lid. It also sits outside our house.)

As I lay there trying to focus my eyes and wake up, I’m thinking that I’m pretty sure that I know what is out there. After a few minutes, I finally get up and walk into her room. I crack open her window as we are both looking out into the night I say, “Hey you , get out the fuck out” and wouldn’t you know that a raccoon jumps out from under the lid and hauls his ass across the yard and across the street.

No foul, no harm, right? I go back to bed and all is good in the world again.

Until the next morning, I get up and I am all tired and grouchy. So I tell my sportsman about the issue and how important my sleep is. Of course he didn’t hear anything. Why is that? Cause he is still freakin sleeping in the spare bedroom. So now I have told him about the problem it is all on him to take care of this issue.

I also shared with a co worker about this problem (his kids are in boy scouts) he suggest that my sportsman and my son go out there and pee all over the ground by the trashcan. You know to mark their territory. LMAO

Um, so I forgot to tell my sportsman, but regardless I don’t know if that would have helped or not.

Anyways, I was wrong to think this was an isolated incident. The next night I was woke at 2 am by those damn raccoons in the can again. It sounded like they were having a freakin party in there. Lid up, lid down, lid up, lid down. OMG.

Yelling out the window obviously does not work. I however was NOT going out there in my undies to yell at them. Who knows what a raccoon will do if its startled and I had no desire to freakin find out, also it’s too cold outside this time of year to be running around in your undies. (not that I’m worried about my neighbors, they are used to us running around half naked in the yard)

So, what did I do? I just layed there in bed, not sleeping, but thinking of what I could do. I am sure part of it was, I was really tired.

My mind was in a dream state.
I thought, hmmm my son has an air soft rifle, maybe I could stick that thru the screen and shoot in the general vicinity? No? Maybe I could get a pan of hot water and throw it thru the window? No? Maybe I could use an air horn to scare the shit out of them. No?

Well in the end I didn’t do a damn thing,

 cause I fell back asleep.

I will now have to “Bing” it to see what you’re supposed to do when you have raccoons in your can.

Foreign language

If you remember not too long ago I wrote about a word that I personally used all the time (Slickery). Untill a co worker looked it up on Urban Dictionary. Only to find out what it really ment. (You don't wanna know)Then I had to explain to everyone that is not how I was using the word.



Well once again, my lovely co workers have come up with another (questionable) word that they said I should have to most definitely need to look up. No, this time I wasn’t walking around the office using this word.


So I asked some friends on FB first to see if it was a common knowledge type of word. Which ultimately sparked some 16 different comments and thoughts about this “new” word (Duck Butter).


What I really want to know is 1) who comes up with these freakin words and their definitions, and 2) what the heck, is this common knowledge to everyone? Are these words floating around the schools? Should I worry that my son knows what the word “Duck Butter” means? Ewwwwwwwwwwwww.


Am I gonna have to sit down with my kid and let him know that these words are not “real” words and further more the type of words I want him to be using? I’m sure thats a conversation I would prefer to avoid if at all possible.

It’s not like I am a prude or anything.  I was a wild once in H.S. I let my kids watch rated R movies, and for crying out loud I take my son to rock concerts. It’s just how much is too much? Do kids really need all these “extra” new words?  Just cause I think some of these are hilarious, doesnt mean I want my kid to know what they are.
Aren’t the old school ones bad enough?

Or am I just getting old? Wait don’t answer that.

Got a point of view, I would love to hear it.

The Last Batch of Empire Strikes Back Sketch Cards

Here are the remaining cards I did for Topps. It was a lot of work, but a lot of fun. I'm just happy to be in the set. Even if I never get into another one, I'm psyched to have done this collection. Hope you like them. Now to start those P'ups Sketch Cards for 5finity.

Oriental Butterfly Tattoo Girls

Oriental Butterfly Tattoo Girls

Red Skull Tattoo Girls

Red Skull Tattoo Girls

Lifetime of..........................................

If you had knowledge that you were going to die, could you say that you’ve done all that you had planned or wanted to do in life?

If not would you run right out and make it a point to do/achieve those things?

Or would you just be content with where you were in the here and now?

Would you have the strength to put the effort into obtaining those things before you died? Or live in fear of the “remaining” days?


I’m not talking about regrets of where your life has ended. I know everyone starts out with hopes and dreams of where they think their life is going to go. It’s just hardly ever do those things actually come true.


I’m not trying to be a downer, it’s just a fact. That’s why they are called dreams. Most ppl dream, but never really follow thru.


There are days when I wake and I don’t know who I really am. It’s more like I am living someone else’s life. I do all that is expected of me, cause I am afraid to reach out for what I think I really want out of life


The reason for this is partly out of fear of failure, partly out of fear of disappointing the ones I love. I fear that when I do die, no one will really know who the heck I was. But the person I became to satisfy everyone else.


I’m not unhappy. I have a good life. I am floater.
Just surviving each day as they come.

I am afraid of dying.

Death is scary.

Death is final.

Band of the WEEK

ALICE IN CHAINS

Alice in Chains is an American rock band formed in Seattle, Washington, in 1987 by guitarist Jerry Cantrell and vocalist Layne Staley.



Although widely associated with grunge music, the band's sound incorporates heavy metal and acoustic elements.



Since its formation, Alice in Chains has released four studio albums, three EPs, two live albums, four compilations, and two DVDs. The band is known for its distinct vocal style which often included the harmonized vocals of Staley and Cantrell.


Alice in Chains rose to international fame as part of the grunge movement of the early 1990s, along with other Seattle bands such as Nirvana, Pearl Jam, and Soundgarden. The band was one of the most successful music acts of the 1990s, selling over 17 million albums worldwide.


The band achieved two number-one Billboard 200 albums (Jar of Flies and Alice in Chains), 14 top ten songs on the Mainstream Rock Tracks chart, and seven Grammy Award nominations.


Although never officially disbanding, Alice in Chains was plagued by extended inactivity due to substance abuse, culminating in the death of Layne Staley in 2002. Alice in Chains reunited in 2005 with new lead vocalist William DuVall and released Black Gives Way to Blue, their first studio album in 14 years, on September 29, 2009.

T I M E

  How much time does it take to get your shit together?

A year? 5 years? 15 years? A lifetime?

How do you know that you have finally gotten your shit together?


Is there a sign?
Or do you just know?
Is it based on your age?
Life experiences?


By whose definition do you determine that you have gotten your shit together?


Do you feel better when it happens? Do you feel as if a weight has been lifted by having your shit together?


I wanna know. What to expect that is, in case it happens to me.


Time keeps rolling by and I keep working on it. Some days I feel like 3 steps forward and 5 steps back. What the heck! I don’t think I will ever get there.


Will it be before I die?


I most certainly must be doing it all wrong. What does it really mean anyways to have your shit together?


You know how I am super big on definitions.


Maybe I’m just better off continuing to float. It certainly is less stressful, less demanding, less ridged and a lot more peaceful.


What does that say about me? That the rules don’t apply to me? That I am lazy? Or I am just more challenged than others?

The only opinion that should really matter is my own.

Connected

Painted By: SoccerMom

Quick Listoon SXSW Style

The Seven Types of People You're Sure to See at SXSW in Austin.

More Frisco STYLE Magazine comic strips

Here are the most recently published Frisco STYLE Magazine illustrations. Written by them, drawn by me.

Cute Tattoo Girls

Cute Tattoo Girls

Cool Tattoo Girls

Cool Tattoo Girls

Labels Back Tattoo Girls

Labels Back Tattoo Girls

Filter

I know you might think sometimes I need a filter and maybe sometimes I do.

But that is just how I roll. Besides, my friends who are around me the most seem to be ok with it. No one has ever really called me out on something that I have said.

I get that there can be a fine line between being bitchy for the sake of being bitchy and being brutally honest.


My biggest problem is my daughter is just like me. I know that it really isn’t a huge problem/deal in the grand Scheme of things. It’s just she is a bit more abrasive than I am. I totally believe in honesty is the best policy. Even if that means sometimes you don’t like what I have to say. I think having an outgoing personality and being honest are two good qualities to have.

Wouldn’t you agree?

What I really want to know is that kind of behavior/attitude a heredity thing or a learned trait? Or is there another word for that kind of behavior/personality? Strong willed?


In the world today, I think it’s kinda good to not care so much about what others think. I feel it’s good to listen to people’s opinions but not necessarily to run your life by what others have to say.


Sometimes that can be hard when you’re young. You spend most of all your time worrying about what others think. Very few kids are leaders. The majority are followers.


So if you have a strong willed, expressive, creative, carefree child, I say help them shine in anyway you can. I know sometimes that can be hard (specifically during the teen years) but who knows who they will become in the future. The world can be their oyster.

Don’t you want to be part of the reason they became such a successful person?

Am I really a "FUN SUCKER"?

So my son says, well and my ex husband that I am a fun sucker. I don’t really see myself as a “Fun Sucker”.

Once upon a time I was wild and crazy, no restrictions, lived my life to the fullest. Then…………………………………..

Yes, I got married! To someone who was just as much fun. Except, when you’re living on your own. Sometimes someone has to be responsible, that is if you want to be able to afford freakin rent and have food to eat.


Ok, so I am not bashing my Ex. I am just simply stating that I used to be fun. Then because of circumstances not within my control I had to grow up (in a hurry) and change.


My son just doesn’t see that. I don’t think I am a downer now. It's just there are some things that once you’re an adult you don’t do anymore. Right?


Like dance on table tops in bars, in short skirts. Or take a weekend trip on the spure of the moment with the girls, taking nothing but a cooler of beer and some wacky weed, or leaving school on a sunny day just to go wash your kick ass car.


I’m not saying you can’t have fun, but if you have kid’s life is a little more limited to say the least. I often wonder what my life would be like now if I had ended up with some one else, and had let them be the responsible one.


So without divulging in detail exactly how wild and crazy I used to be to my son, how do I get him to understand I am no party pooper?


I do get the reality that currently while my son is a teen, that any and all things I do, in his minds eye seems boring.

I’m not trying to be the “cool” mom,
I am still the enforcer.

Just want to be known as the enforcer

who has a kick ass time,

when allowed.

BAND of the Week

REVIEW

Soak

By Dan Birchall

If you enjoy bands like Live, Alice in Chains, Collective Soul and Our Lady Peace, but find yourself wishing their songs involved a bit more in the way of samples, audio loops and spoken-word rapping, Soak's eponymous 1997 release may be just your cup of tea.


To be sure, the fivesome - vocalist/guitarist Jason Demetri, guitarist Leigh Alexander Mason, bassist John Moyer, percussionist Heath Macintosh, and oddly-named keyboardist Turdlben - aren't the first to generate catchy hard-rock tunes.

Demetri's not the only vocalist out there whose lyrics are actually intelligible. And they're not even the first hard-rock band to make use of extensive sampling, as fans of industrial music or Queensryche's Operation: Mindcrime can attest.


But in successfully bringing these elements together, Soak manages to carve out a niche of its own. The resulting sounds are diverse, and the band easily shifts between portions of their style. As the first full-length release from a band that's only been playing together for a few years on the Dallas scene, the album is surprisingly polished.


None of the tracks on this album will have you reaching for the fast forward button and the band really shows its strength and range in the middle four songs. "Shutter Gut (Caroline)" features sample-laden verses driven by a funky bass riff. "Me Compassionate" has a fast-paced, industrial feel. "Street Monkey" is a slow, jazzy instrumental. And the vocal harmonies in the chorus of "Transcendental Drift" are excellent.

Overall, the band delivers music that's technically and artistically solid without being pretentious, with plenty of what listeners want, and a few surprises thrown in.

Ads done in comic book style

Here are some more of the ads for Design PT that David Hopkins and I have been creating recently (him writing, me drawing of course). I really like the jungle one and the Star Trek one. Lots of fun to do. I believe we're signed on to do another 14 strips.

Check out the first set here.