The anxious KittyCat

In the last week, I have allowed my anxiety to take over my life, a g a i n.  I say allowed cause I have the choice to allow my fears to effect me.

I wake each morning dreading all of my fears.

Things like,

• Interacting with friends;
• The drive into work;
• Waiting to hear from someone;
• Food I will or will not eat;
• Dealing with unpleasant things;
• My health;

Anyone who has ever experienced anxiety issues knows what I am talking about it. The fears completely take over you.

I catch my self, holding my breath like that is gonna ease my fears.

I get this pain deep in the pit of my stomach, and then I break out in a cold sweat.

None of it's good shit, and it all sucks ass.

I have not had anxiety issues in over 8 months. Until……………………………….

Well, this last week.  I know what the cause of it is. 

And have been choosing not to deal with the issue at hand.

I have had too much on my plate. I have been trying to deal with too many things that are not within my control.

I can not take any medications, there for dealing with my anxiety is somewhat of a big deal. I can’t just pop a little pill and make everything all freakin better.

It sucks.

I have to do things like mental soothing and breathing techniques to help me get through it.

Ultimately I have to deal with what is bringing on my anxiety.

Confront it head on. 

When it would be a hell of alot easier to just sweep it all under the rug.

I made a decision last night to not allow this to happen anymore.

I am going to attempt to take back control of my life, and not allow anything to affect me negatively.

It’s not easy being me.

but

I choose to try and make a change.