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Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Memories from my Brain

As of recently I have been spending alot of time with old friends from H.S.



Now there are good and bad things about seeing old friends from your H.S. days.



Sometimes it is g r e a t to hear someone else talk about the crazy shit that went on, in his or her own words/version.


The big problem I have is that alot of things they talk about I don’t fucking remember.

I am unsure if this is due to one of many things. It could be that I smoked too much weed in H.S. It could be that it’s selective memeory, that maybe I didn’t really have the kickass time I thought I did in my younger years. It could just be part of my disease.


Whatever the freakin reason is, I just can’t remember everything. I remember bits and pieces of things but not very much. Is that normal?


SO you can see why some of the things I have heard recently that I supposedly did in my younger years upsets  disturbs  make me uncomfortable  freaks me out.


Most of my memories I remember, were of great times with my friends. However, some of the memories that people have brought up makes me question, “was I really “that” girl’?


I have even asked them “Are you sure that was really me doing that”? and not someone else.

Seriously, if there was drinking involved, should I really consider their memory to be a reliable source?


I have always stated that I had the best 4 years of my life in H.S. and I don’t regret any of it.

WTF, how can I have any regrets if I don’t flippin remember most of it. Hmmmmmmmmmm?


So anyways some of the things that people have mentioned aren’t all that bad. It’s not like I was off the wall crazy. It just appears, I just had some fun like everyone else.


I have really enjoyed the last few months of reconnecting with people from H.S. and even making some new friends. BUT, somewhere deep in the back of my mind I wonder, how will I ever really know what is the truth and what is someone else’s account or memory of what took place?

And do I really want to know the
TRUTH?

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