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Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Death of a Friendship

The death of anything is a very sad thing, but the death of a friendship is extremely insanely difficult.



Everyone knows that I have trust issues. So when I finally let someone “in” it means that I trust you.

If you break that “circle of trust” I am not one to ever forgive. Or at the very fucking least it will be an incredibly long ass time before I forgive.


Friendships are suppose to be happy –go- lucky. Friends are supposed to support you in whatever way you need. Friends are supposed to share the good times and bad. Friends are supposed to offer advice, knowing full well that doesn’t mean your gonna take it. Friends are supposed to have your back.


Friendships are not suppsed to be stressfull. Friendships are not supposed to be tough. Friends shouldn’t put you in a situation where they expect you to choose.


I have recently had to take myself out of a “situation” between two friends. Which makes things that much more freakin hard.


I truly care a lot about this friend. I care deeply what happens to this friend. I care about this friend’s feelings. I care about this friend’s health.


I care a lot about this friend.
Its just the friendship with this friend has become just too damn stressful for me to take anymore.


Because of my health issues / disease I am supposed to avoid stress. (Which is really freakin hard to do . )


Ending this friendship has been a very difficult discission for me. I didn’t want to do it. However, the stress that was involved has just gotten to be too much for me to handle anymore.


Did I say that I care about this friend a lot?

I can only hope that in the future this friend will understand why I had to do it. Who knows just maybe somewhere down the road and things change we can resume our once kick ass friendship we once had.


I would very much like that.


So today will be a day of mourning, the death of a truly special friendship.

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