Playing Cowgirl

Let me start off with; is there a wrong way to use KY? Cause on the advice of a friend, I bought some of the "new" KY Sensations for him and her, I heard it was suppose to rock your world.

 Isn’t that what the couple says on the commercial???

Not that my sex life needs any spicing up, but I thought, what the hey. Everyone’s been raving about it, so I asked my sportsman to pick some up so we could give it a whirl. Seriously, what have we got to lose right?

I have to say that I have never bought any of “their” products before. I don’t have “that” kind of issue. I have heard older women talking about it being an issue and I’m happy to say it isn’t an issue for me. I’m ecstatic with the sex life I have. I mean I am in my 40’s, isn’t that supposed to be my prim years?


So my lovely sportsman ran out and picked up some for us to try, cause I will try just about anything once.

So, maybe I built it up too much, or it’s cause we drank some, or maybe even it was the stress from the freakin weather. I don’t know. So we try it out, we lube each other all up, like the instructions say to. So were getting it on, and my sportsman looks at me, very serious and he says “you got anything”? and I say um, NO. I look back at him and say “you got anything”? his answer was the same. WTF? We spent what, and all we got was lubed?
What a let down.


What I do know, is there was no fireworks, no explosions, and no crazy good vibrations happenin in our bed that night.

Did we get a dud? IDK. Should we try another bottle? Not sure, that shit isn’t cheap. So what do you do with the rest of the bottle? Use it as a massage lotion?
Honestly, what other uses are there for KY other than sexual ones?

I just can’t throw it out.

What a waste of money.

 So now I have to find some other way to use this stuff.

Any suggestions?

Dash Bradley Pin-Up

Here is a new piece I did for my friend and fellow comic book creator Paul Milligan. Paul foolishly agreed to do a swap for a Spookytown pin-up. Who's the winner here? Me, of course. This is of Paul's character Dash Bradley. Who is Dash Bradley, you ask? Well, as his Facebook page explains....

Dash Bradley is the world-reknowned author of the Race Radford series of adventure novels. Unbeknowst to the public at large the true inspiration for Race Radford's unbelievable fictional adventures is the author himself, who has worked as a special agent for the U.S. Government since 1928. Since that time he has traveled to the four corners of the earth and beyond, battling Nazis, Communists, Martians and book editors to keep the U.S.A. safe and sound.

I did this one in black and white using markers to give it an old movie serial feel. And I left the background uncolored to help the figures stand out more. I really like how this on turned out. I don't think the scan does it justice. As always, I hope you dig it.

New Comic Work in Stores

As I previously mentioned, I contributed a page to David Hopkins' anthology comic book "On Night Stand" and tomorrow it arrives in stores. I received my comp copies in the mail the other and the book looks great. There are lot of cool artists in this book, doing some really interesting and different stuff. My story is called "Come Hither", written by David, as are all the stories in the book.

Go here and scroll down to find a store in your area.

Just a Mom

I'm not a writer(for real), I'm just a "mom". Who was very sad this Christmas.

No, it wasn’t that I didn’t get what I wanted "gift" wise this holiday, cause OMG I finally got my GPS that I was wanting. Not sure how this was possible, since my sportsman and I agreed no gifts this year. I am grateful none the less.

So now ppl I will no longer hopefully never have the excuse of being lost, or have to ask my friends to draw out a map for me. I bet that will make Sarah, Tami, and others happy. That is if I can figure out how to use it first. It is kinda complicated. Go figure.
Don't tell my husband, he would laugh his ass off at me.


The BIG issue was, it freakin snowed. ALOT! It's not like the weatherman didn't say there wasn’t going to be some snow, but seriously our weatherman never gets it right. So do you think I paid any attention?

Heck, NO!

It hardly ever snows in K.C. anymore and if it does it is such a small amount that it is gone by the next day. I like living here for this very reason( I am really much more of a California girl)


I have some family that live in Oregon and obviously they love the weather there. I think that is great for them, it's just not for me.

So anyways, the snow ruined everything!! Not only did we have to be out of town Christmas eve day and night, but then we had to drive home in blizzard conditions. Which took us over 2 hours to drive a 1 hour drive. Why? Cause we were damn determined to be at home in our own beds. Well we had plans for the evening alone you know, that were really important.

Once we got back in our area, we did take the time to stop off for some alcohol, (cause after that drive, who doesn't need some alcohol) of course the only place open in blizzard conditions was "CVS" , so kudos to CVS for being open in our time of need. I however felt really sorry for the 2 ppl that were working that late on Christmas eve.

I haven't even gotten to the real reason why it sucked yet.

# 1 reason, every other year my son stays at his dad’s house on Christmas eve, then Christmas morning he comes home. I am supposed to meet them half way to pick him up (which is still a 45 min drive), but of course with the weather I couldn't even get out of my freakin neighborhood. # 2 reason, my daughter worked Christmas eve till eleven, but since the roads were bad she didn't make it home, she had to stay over at her boyfriends parents house, which was closer to work.

So, you would think the snow and blizzard conditions from the night before were enough but it was still freakin snowing on Christmas day. What is up with the damn Missouri weather???

So here it was Christmas morning, no kids up at the ass crack of dawn waiting to open stockings or presents and no chance of any being home anytime soon.

This is not how it’s supposed to be damn it! Family is supposed to be together. So what did I do instead?

While I was waiting for the city trucks to come thru and scrap the roads (which doesn’t happen as often as one would think) I watched "Marley and me". Yes, I realize that when you’re already sad you should not watch a sad show, but when your stressed, you'll watch anything.

Finally, everyone made it here safely (which was well after noon). We had a great breakfast and enjoyed opening presents together.

I can tell you next year this will not happen.

I won't allow it!

Flips Flops are not for year around wear

Let me start off with, this is freakin common sense ppl (FYI, this little bit of 411 is for those of you who live in a state that the temperatures drop below 40). Honestly, I shouldn’t even have to comment on this one, but I will, for those of you that are special.

Since there appears to be many of you out there that obviously missed the class “101 on how to dress for winter “in school. I will gladly spell it out for you again today.


Here we go ppl, pay attention this time; I wouldn’t want to have to repeat it again.  This is especially important today, since we just got, what over 11 inches of snow this weekend.

Summer is for flip flops, Winter is for snow boots! GOT IT!

Once the outside temperature drops below lets say freakin freezing, you should not be still wearing flip flops. Wearing them in the dead ass cold of winter does not make you look cool. It actually makes you look like a less than smart dumbass.

Listed below are some actual excuses I have heard, from individuals who felt it necessary to wear them in the off season.

1. I just got my toe nails done;
2. they make my legs look skinnier in these pants;
3. I want ppl to see my tan;
4. it’s really not that cold out;

Since I am not an offender of this, I would like to know from someone who does where them as if they were "all season wear", what does it feels like to step into 5 inches of snow being practically barefoot? Is it all that it can be?

Whatever your excuse, I suppose I’ll have to take your word for it, cause there’s not a chance in hell that you’ll ever catch me with a pair on during the winter time. So I will never truly know the fascination.

However, you’ll be sure to catch me laughing my ass off at you.

Christmas Goodies

I got a lot of cool gifts for Christmas this year, here are some of them. I think I've got a lot of great reading ahead of me. Really looking forward to Darwyn Cooke's Parker book, wrapping up Bone and starting Scott Pilgrim. Also The Clash book looks most excellent. And Hellboy books are always good. Hope everyone had a great Holiday and has a great new year. Thanks to everyone and anyone who stopped by here in 2009. I hope to see you back again in 2010 and I hope that I can keep it interesting here.

Quick DFW Listoons #3

New Listoon is in the DFW Quick newspaper today. Unbreakable New Year's Resolutions. I'm really happy with my "According to Jim" image.

Pin-up in Dead@17 Afterbirth TPB

My pin-up for Josh Howard's Dead@17 "Afterbirth" TPB came out today. The Image Comics book collects issues #1-4 for the "Afterbirth" storyline. Here's a synopsis from the Image site...

In the latest chapter of the DEAD@17 saga, Nara and Hazy face their darkest hour. The insidious Abraham Pitch has returned and plots to open the Abyss, while Nara's crusade against the Marked has disastrous consequences for those closest to her.

This pin-up was lot of fun to do and I'm really happy with how it turned out in print. The colors look really great. Not that you can tell for the terrible quality photo I snapped of it. Anyway, go pick a copy of the book, Josh is putting some good stuff out there. Also, I usually play my cards close to the chest, but I should have some more Dead@17 news to announce later. So stay tuned to see what it might be. Have fun out there.

Things that Piss me off

A few things that piss me off

-Commercials about drugs, and all their freaking side effects -would that really make you wanna take them?;

-Commercials that come on that have the volume go up 20 decimals, if I wasn’t deaf before I will be now;

-When I ask my son if he has homework and he says ”um, let me check” well let me tell you that he damn well knows when he leaves each class if he has homework or not;

-When my husband decides to not go to the gym in the morning and slows down my regular morning routine;

-People that drive in the fast lane doing 65 and wont get the hell over for the people who want to drive faster;


-When the 20 something guy that sits next to me at work asks me if I have any “snacks”. Hello, I’m not your freakin mother!;


-When my doctor tells me that I should exercise less- hello I thought the world was promoting more exercise?;

-Possums-they are just a damn pain in my ass;

-My neighbor’s Psycho kid, who keeps threatening to kill my dog;

-Not being in control of the things I think I should be;

-When people hang up on me-how rude, don’t you know I had a lot more to say!;

-People who throw their cigarette butts on the ground

Dallas Comic Con - January 30-31

I’m happy to announce that I’ll once again be a guest at the Dallas Comic Con, which is this January 30-31 at the Richardson Civic Center. Other comic creators in attendance include Tim Sale, Adam Hughes, Michael Golden, Mark Brooks, Todd Nauck, Pat Broderick, Jim Mahfood, Mike Huddleston, Tom Feister, Matt Sturges, Brian Denham, Kerry Gammill, Kez Wilson, Joe Eisma, Brent Peeples, David Hopkins, Paul Milligan, Harold Ledoux and whole lot more. That’s a pretty nice line up if you’re a comic book fan. There will also be media guest like the great Adam West, Charisma Carpenter, some Twilight dude and more. I’ll be doing sketches all day Saturday and Sunday. I will also have Sketch Cards for sell as well. So, get off the couch, put on some pants and come out to the show. You know you want to. As always, a big, big thanks to Mark and Ben for their continued support.

Click here for more information

Keep it up, and your gonna get the bird

Ok, so a few friends (I use the word “friend” loosely) from work are having a non-work get together after work, to celebrate the holidays. I have considered not really going. I’m pretty sure I skipped it last year, for a good reason.


It’s not like I don’t enjoy getting out and hanging with some of the friends, after work on a Friday night. Honestly, one issue, is I don’t drink much anymore. So sometimes that alone makes it not as much fun. It shouldn’t, but lets be honest here, it is never fun when you are the only sober one.

Anyways getting on with it, a couple of the ppl that will be attending are those young boys, I have previously talked about (they are really only good for one thing). These are the ones that are like (ok, so they are totally) 15 years younger than me. That by its self isn’t bad, other than what do we really have in common to talk about?(I should just go and enjoy looking at them, right? ) Hello, yes I realize I’m married, but I didn’t say anything about touching anyone! Just window shopping! Seriously, ppl do it all the time. No harm, No FOUL!

The honest real issue is the last time I met this particular group out for drinks(what a nightmare), is when the youngone told me I was old, not that I was older, but Yes that I was OLD!. Can you freakin believe that!!!! Don’t get me started again. It would have been worse, if he wasn’t so flippin hot. Reality is those little twerps know nothing. So you can see my dilemma, I just don’t know if I want to spend my free time(which I have very little of) with such immature idiots. That particular happy hour cost me a ton of money, on face creams and such.

I know there will be other ppl there my age, and I would hate to miss out on hanging out with them. I just don’t know if I can restrain myself, from beating the crap out of one of those young twerps if they open their mouth and dumb shit stuff falls out. Also, since it is a 35 min drive from my home, and I will not be drinking, only makes dealing with them much worse.

So my dilemma,

what to do?

Go? Not Go?

Things Forgotten

I may have a short memory, but what the heck is everyone else’s excuses?

There are a million events that have happen in the world, but society is so quick to forget them. Why is that? I don’t mean that you should live your life everyday in fear, or live in the past all the time, BUT to at least recognize what has happened and be thankful for what you have. I know that if one of these major events, had personally affected your life in some way, then there’s a greater chance that you would have not forgotten it.

I don’t understand why, it takes the anniversary on the news of a prev. disaster for ppl to remember, how it affected all of our lives at that time. I honestly think that the average person takes for granted what they have.

So, here it is a list of some of those events that happened; that I think should be remembered.
I know that some of these events, have changed me as a person.

1980 -U.S. Heat Wave, death toll 1,700 lives and because of the massive drought, agricultural damage reached $20billion.

July 17, 1981- Hyatt Regency hotel walkway collapse, death toll 114 people and injuring more than 200

1988 -Pan Am Flight 103, death toll 243 passengers and 16 crew members

1993- The Waco Siege, death toll 86

1995 -Chicago heat wave ,death toll 600 heat-related deaths

April 19, 1995 - Oklahoma City bombing, death toll 168 people and injuring more than 680

July 17, 1996 -TWA Flight 800, death toll 230 people

April 20, 1999- Columbine High School massacre, killing 12 students, one teacher, and injuring 21 others

September 11, 2001- Multiple Plane crashes due to Terrorist attack, death toll 2,985

Feb 1, 2003 –Space shuttle explodes-crew of 7 died

Feb 20, 2003- The Station nightclub fire, death toll 100 people, and 230 people were injured

2005- Hurricane Katrina, death toll 1,300 and still counting

April 16, 2007- Virginia Tech massacre, death toll 32 people

August 2007-Crandall Canyon Mine collapse, six miners were trapped by the collapse, and 3 rescue workers died

August 7, 2007- I-35W Mississippi River bridge collapse, killing 13 people and injuring 145.

October 23, 2007- California Wild Fires, 1,500 homes were destroyed,over 500,000 acres of land burned, Nine people died as a direct result of the fires; 85 others were injured, including at least 61 firefighters.

Feb 8, 2008 -Super Tuesday tornado outbreak, Eighty-seven tornadoes occurred over the course of the outbreak, 57people were killed across four states and 18 counties, with hundreds of others injured

September 12, 2008- Chatsworth train collision, death toll 25

Jan 15, 2009- American plane crashed in Hudson river, 155 people on board

Feb 2, 2009 -Colgan Flight 3407, crashed into a house in the northeast Buffalo, total of 50 people were killed

April 24, 2009- Swine Flue hits and kills many ppl

June 11, 2009- Declared Swine Flu an epidemic

November 5, 2009- Fort Hood shooting, killing 13 people and wounding 30 others

Tick in a Bag

Ok, I realize that this is really gross, BUT here it goes anyway.

I’m getting ready this morning and I look over and I see this baggie tucked down with my lotions and I think ‘what is that”?. I pick it up and realize that it is the baggie that we put the last tick we picked off my son this summer, when he went to the lake with his dad.. Let me see how many months ago was that? Hmmmmmm. We originally kept the “tick” because 1) I ‘m just a freak 2) to have as back up just in case he got lime disease or something. The ticks that he had on him this time were the “deer ticks”. Which if you don’t know what those are, you won’t understand what that means. So I’ll tell you what it means, it means they are freakin small. They are not like the normal size fat ticks. They are the type that you need a damn magnifying glass for I always dread this time of year when he goes, for this exact reason.

My son has freckles all over his body; it is next to impossible to check his whole body for ticks. This is a top reason for me not to let him go to the lake.

There isn’t anything that could be more traumatizing than being a teen and having to stand in front of your mom, so she can look your naked ass over to ticks.

I know he really enjoys going to the lake, and now that he is getting older, he knows how to take precautions. So I hate to tell him he cant go. I certainly can’t count on his dad to take any precautions, since he is such a jackass. Doesn’t matter what I say, he will do the completely opposite.


Anyways, so this morning I’m thinking, has it been long enough? Can I throw out the tick? How long do you think is long enough to wait, to know if there are any lasting residual effects?


Chill, ppl I already told you I was a freak. There is nothing wrong with being a little cautious, but I suppose since it has been about 8 months I can probably throw it out.

Do ya think?

Many roads traveled

Memories

Some of my best memories are from when I was young. Sometimes I wish I could just go back in time. At the very least, I wish that my family was closer and had spent more time taking trips together. I feel like we have run out of time for that.


One of my best memories is seeing the northern lights; we lived in Cody Wyoming at the time. If you have never seen them, you’re missing out. They are the most amazing thing ever. Even when you see them, you still can’t believe that what you’re seeing is for real.


I remember my family took lots of vacations. Really more like road trips, cause we didn’t really go to any of the cool places you always saw on T.V., you know the ones where you stay in this luxurious hotel or at those resorts where you stay right on the beach. None the less they were still family trips. I never questioned my parents about money or how could we afford them, because what kid in grade school worries about such things.


We traveled all over the western part of the United States. For the most part we camped out. On occasion we would stay in the good ole Motel 6. My memory isn’t the best but I think we did the most traveling when we lived in Missouri. We did live in Wyoming for awhile. Nothing like having 3 sides of your house be mountains. That part as a kid I remember being a little bit boring.

I can honestly say as a child we were privileged. We weren’t rich but I don’t remember us going without either, at least that I can remember. I know that no matter where we went I always felt safe and I never worried about anything.

Well except for the one time, I remember we were on the road going somewhere and it was night time, everyone was asleep, and my dad didn’t stop at the last rest stop thinking he could make it to the next one, I’m not sure where the mis calculation came in but I remember a small amount of panic that we wouldn’t make it to the next rest stop. I’m sure some of the “freak out” was due to, the many horror flicks I had watched.

I remember another time, we took a trip to Mt. Rushmore. We got all the way there and went to get the suit cases out of the back of the “station wagon” and to our surprise they weren’t there. Guess where they were? They were still at home sitting right where we left them. It was a very funny moment, no one got mad, there was no yelling we just went to the closest “kmart” and bought the essentials we needed for the weekend.

I also remember those games we would play in the car to pass the time. Do you remember any of those? The license plate game, the clouds game, and the VW bug game. I’m sure there are many more, but I just can’t remember them right now.

I’m not saying that we got along all the time, I know there were moments where we argued over who was on whose side of the seat, but I do remember being happy.

I also know on more than one occasion, we woke up with lizards and/or other animals in the tent with us.

On one of our trips, we went to sinks canyon (Wyoming) I remember we were up on top of this mountain and my sister and I decided to build a lean-to out of trees, thinking we were going to sleep in it that night. Boy, were we brave.

Seems strange now, I don’t hate the out doors, but I don’t like bugs or dirt. I prefer the electrical accommodations vs sleeping in a tent. I have not taken my kids camping ever. We have only taken one vacation; we went to Florida in 2001. It wasn’t bad, but I remember it being a little stressful. I don’t know why.

The reason my family hasn’t taken a vacation is because honestly we have spent the last 8 years spending our money on hotels for out of town soccer tournaments. We are not poor but not rich and competitive soccer fees and stuff cost money. 

I feel like because of this, I have allowed my kids to some how miss out on some kind of special bonding moments.

The saddest part is that my parents are not even married anymore, they have been divorced a long time now, and my mom is still single. All this should not have any effect on continuing new traditions or trips, but it does.

So now all I have is the memories of how safe and happy I once felt. Some how I messed up being a parent, and I don’t think my kids have had as many happy times/memories as they should. I should have done a better job at giving them those happy safe moments like I had as a child. Don’t get me wrong my kids don’t have a bad life; they certainly have every material thing one could ever want. But it’s not the same. I'm not sure how we got so disfunctional. Possibly cause I have been in 2 bad marriages? Who knows.  I just would like to make it right somehow.

I’m not sure why I decided to write about this today, maybe I'm a little melancholy, since its the holiday time, or maybe just too much freakin Christmas music or maybe just maybe because I feel like I’m responsible for everyone’s happiness?

Near Death Experience

No, I'm not talking about my mini stroke 2 years ago (for real, I dont really think that was what it was, so whatever!!) I am talking about my freakin car drive into work this morning.

Last time I checked(which was recently), I'm positive that in the driver’s manual(which every state is the same) that YIELD means to fucking slow down and look before you enter!!! NOT, go as fast as humanly possible and try to run off the road the nearest vehicle. I know my car is small ppl, but come on!!!! It’s not a damn micro mini.

WTF, does it take to be seen! If a semi can see me then what the hell is your problem?????

So, I most definitely saw my life pass right before my eyes. Since I (well my car) almost bounced off of two other cars. I also had some serious doubts I was even going to make it into work today, but not before, I gave my best expressive hand gestures and very clear verbal profanity to the occupants of the “other” vehicle. Which I know was most definitely NOT good Christian behavior

The only good part was, because of my excellent driving skills I did not spill any of my coffee, during this whole James Bond moment. However at this point I couldn’t drink my coffee, cause my nerves were so completely wrecked that I couldn’t keep my hands from shaking.

So thank you, to the jackass that ruined my good cup of coffee this am with your lack of proper driving skills.

Horror flicks

I am a super huge fan of horror flicks. Who doesn’t love a good scare? Back in the day, they had some of the best scary movies. You know the ones that would make you jump up out of your freakin seat.

As of late, I’m a just a little bit concerned with the type of scary movies that keep coming out, I feel like the movies keep getting just a little more twisted every year. Not so much scary as down right demented. Which makes you wonder what kind of person does it take to write this kind of stuff? I would think this kind of person is someone with a major demented way of thinking. Worse I know there are lots of ppl who will pay to go see these types of movies. What is the real reason behind all of the mind games? Can’t we just get back to a good scare, without all the other crap?

I’m not really sure what bothers me so much about this. Maybe I just don’t think it is necessary to have all the seriously psychological damaging stuff in a movie. For real ppl, we already come in contact with enough wack jobs in one life time; do we really need to be terrorized at the movies also?

Anyways, since my family is big into movies in general, I have shared over the years my love for scary movies with my son (at the appropriate age, I see fit), my daughter refuses to watch them, and you know these kinds of movies are not for everyone. My son does really enjoy watching them, more so the old ones like me. It doesn’t help that my son was also born on October 28th, and we tell him all the time, that he is a little spook!


Here is my list of what I think are some of the best gotta have “old” scary movies around.

1. Psycho
2. Halloween
3. The Amityville Horror
4. The Exorcist
5. Carrie
6. The Omen
7. The Rocky Horror Picture Show
8. The Fog
9. Children of the Corn
10. Friday the 13th
11. Return of the living dead
12. Nighmare on elm street
13. Phantasm
14. Poltergeist
15. Motel Hell
16. the birds
17. The thing
18. Invasion of the body snatchers
19. Rosemarys Baby
20. Creep Show
21. Freight Night

12 Thankfull Things

Today I heard that familiar song the 12 days of Christmas on the radio, and it made me think. There should be a, 12 things we are thankful for. So today, is exactly 12 days till Christmas. I have decided that I will post a list of the 12

things I am thankful for.

I am thankful for;

1-I have been redeemed and forgiven- Col 1:14

2-I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me- Phil. 4:13

3-I have access to God through the Holy Spirit- Eph. 2:18

4-I am God's child- John 1:12

5- I am complete in Christ- Col. 2: 10

6- I am free forever from condemnation- Rom. 8: 1-2

7-that I was bought for a price- Cor 6:19-20

8- I have been adopted as God's child-Eph 1:5

9- I am a personal witness of Christ-Acts 1:8

10- I am a citizen of Heaven. I am significant-Phil 3:20

11- I am united with the Lord-1 Cor. 6:17

12- I am thankful for God, otherwise there wouldn’t be a “me”.

Remembering, what this time of celebration is really about.

Whose Finals are they?

Yes, I am going to bitch about having to help my kid with his studying.

So just get over it.

That doesn’t make me a crappy mom, just an honest one.

I also never said I didn’t sit for freakin hours on Sunday going over every damn subject with him.


There is a very good reason; I barely made it out of High School. I seriously hate studying. I know who does, right! But some kids are just made differently. Some are very driven to succeed. You know the ones, that take college courses in H.S. Well, no surprise there, I was not one of those kids. I however, was the type of kid that knew where all the bad ass parties were. Now that’s an achievement right? Did I mention that I had the time of my life during my High School years? No regrets!

Anyways, back to why I was cramming for finals that I wasn't really gonna take. I was worried if I didn’t sit and make sure my son was studying, he would be taking breaks every 5 minutes. This is his first year of ever having finals in every class.

So I was trying to explain to him how it works, by talking to him about the T.V. show “Felicity”, which if you don’t know is story based on a young girls college experience. I have the box set DVD’s. So, I was using this movie as a reference because I did not go to college, (again, no surprise there. Instead I ran away to California to live at age 19) Hence, the fact that I really don’t know how the whole college thing works. So I am talking about the show and my son says, “Mom, I don’t know what the heck you’re talking about, I’m a GUY and seriously do you really think I have ever watched Felicity”! Hell no! So apparently using that analogy was a wasted effort.

I'm sure he will do fine, he is a very smart kid, makes really good grades, but it doesn't make me worry any less.

Did I mention that I used to be the life of the party, fun, fun, fun all the time, and now I’m considered the  “Fun Sucker”(who am I and what happened to the real me?)! My kids think I am such a “Patsy”; they have no idea how crazy I was, and I honestly am fine with that. I would never want my kids doing the wild things I did in my younger days. Let me just leave it at, who ever said being a parent wasn’t easy, sure nailed the hammer on the head on that one. I agree 100%.

5 SECOND BOB

I am not a “5 second bob”, but it’s my nickname. I was going to write this ha ,ha, oh so funny blog today about my family teasing me all the time about not remembering, but somehow it turned into something else.

You know writing is good for the soul.

What do you think it would be like if you woke up every morning and couldn’t remember anything from the day before? Or how about if you couldn’t retain things longer than a hour? I know, some of you are probably thinking this would be freakin awesome! However, anyone who has any memory issues knows what I’m talking about, and it’s not all sugar and spice and everything nice!

I’m not really talking about dementia in older ppl, though that sucks too. I’m mostly talking about younger ppl who have their whole lives ahead of them, but are handicapped in a way that the average person just doesn’t get.

I wanted to list a few things that are behind memory loss/short term memory loss:

- Emotional Stress-your brain may be focusing more on the emotional issue and less on being able to remember things, making it more difficult to recall memories


- Biological Issues-Dehydration can have a negative impact on your brain function and ability to remember, Low Blood Sugar, low vitamin b12, and menopause


- Other Conditions-Lupus, Infections of the Brain, Stroke, Alcoholism, some general anesthetics, chronic fatigue syndrome, Huntington disease, and lead poisoning. (this is not all of the “other” reasons for memory loss, just a little blurb)

Some of these are permanent, and some are easily remedied.

I know that I laugh about it daily with my family, and/or sometimes co workers. About how I can’t ever remember things. Cause you don’t want ppl to feel awkward, or feel sorry for you, or worse case get annoyed with you. I am not so bad that it affects my duties as a mom, or my performance at work. If you asked my kids they might disagree with me. I think they get a little frustrated with me when I repeat myself 10 times asking if they have brushed their teeth yet(my sons tells me that at least 1 of the times I was actually standing right there watching them brush) or the million flippin sticky notes I leave all around the house.

Don’t feel sad for my little darlings, they certainly have played it to their advantage as they were growing up. Like in the time of punishment, I wouldn’t remember by the next day that I had grounded one of them or in the times I fixed something for dinner that they didn’t particularly like but were required to try it at least once.(I’m not sure where the food really went, but somehow I don’t think it went in their mouths)

But honestly it really isn’t all that funny. I just don’t want them to see me as a weak person. It is so important for the parent to appear to be the strong one.

It would be a great story if said that my reason is I was dropped on my head as an infant (that happened a lot in the 70’s), or that I drank a lot in my 20’s, (I really did do a lot of serious drinking in my younger days). My issue is something a little more complicated, its because of my lupus. However I do not let it get me down.

We have a saying at home; just pretend “as if”. So I pretend “as if” I am just as healthy as the next person.

Now you know why I don’t normally stand and have any long drawn out conversations with anyone, or if I look like I am not paying attention, its cause I am repeating what I want to say when your freakin done talking. Well and also cause by tomorrow I won’t remember what we talked about anyways, unless I wrote it down somewhere.

Hence the nickname 5 second Bob,

which is actually from the movie “50 First Dates”.

The RIGHTS and WRONGS for Holiday Parties

With my upcoming holiday party for work, I thought maybe this was the perfect time to put out a list of the do’s and don’ts.

So here is what I have come up with, these things you should try to avoid, especially if it’s a work party.



I personally have never acted inappropriate at a work holiday party, but I have been asked to leave a bar for being too drunk and dancing on table. (It was in my younger days, of course)



When leaving your house, here are 6 things you should consider/think about:


1. For the single women, make sure you are wearing underwear, and if you think your gonna be drinking alot, then you should definately make sure your not wearing the granny panties.(certainly don't want to have to explain that to friends later) 


2. If you choose to drink grey goose vodka, you should probably keep it to a 2 drink limit, if you plan to drink more than that, don’t expect to remember any of the evenings events the next day.


3. No low cut tops or skimpy clothes ladies, unless you really think it’s gonna get you a raise or only in the cases of hot flashes.


4. Conversations about sex, these should be kept at a minimum or not at all. I really don’t think it will get you too far up the corporate ladder by talking about B.J’s with your co-workers. Or maybe it will???? I guess it all depends on what kind of company you work for. 

 5. Whether you are attending the party with or without your spouse, it works out best if you don't visit any coat closets, to get your groove on. There is no need to share your kinky sexual positions with your friends or co-workers.

6. Consider it time to go home if you have been up on the table dancing and singing and there is no karaoke machine.

Got the Kidd Kraddick Kinsey CDs in

I think they turned out really nice. They were very happy with them, so that's cool.Here's where it was the #1 Comedy Album on iTunes at one point, beating out Artie Lange!!

11 things about me

I know, who really cares.

I do!

I care!

I love-love-love to read interesting tid bits about ppl.



 I think it’s fascinating to learn the unknown things about the people you read everyday.
I don’t mean gossip type stuff, but the real things about a person, the things that makes
them who they are. Honest, I m not the stalker type, just like to read, alot.

So I thought maybe I would share some things, that you could give two shits about don’t know about me, not that I am all that interesting or even a good writer. Since I am not your typical cookie cutter type, you may or may not enjoy my cooky strangeness.

-I’m not and have never really been a “kid” person (but I try hard)
-I skim read
-“size” does really matter-to me
-I love surprise parties
-I have random voted for a president before (politics confuse me)
-When I was little, I wished the world was one big shower, so
that I could just walk around naked all day.
-I tell myself that I am ok with dying, but I’m really not
-I dated a guy once that had a foot fetish, strangely enough, I kinda liked it.
-My childhood aspirations were to be a chiropractor (what was I thinking, I have serious germ phobias) my H.S. aspirations were to be an artist/painter. However, neither job is where I ended up.
-Once upon a time, I would go to bed at night with full make up on, so that my husband would never have to see me looking ugly.
-My body rejects almost all drugs/medications/vitamins 95% of the time.