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Sunday, November 14, 2010

Who am I? Really


I am currently in a confused state of mind.
Ok, So I am always in a fucking confused state. Whatever!
 I don’t know what I want or where I want to go.
With  a n y t h i n g.

This summer was a whirl wind of 
 f u n, h a p p y, and a m a z i n g times.
I enjoyed the ride.  and what a ride it was.
Now I have all these mixed feelings.
About  e v e r y t h i n g.
My soccerboy is growing up, and is always gone.
Which is to be expected.
My tattoo girl has moved out and living her own life,
Which is also to be expected.
I am left feeling lost and confused.
About  e v e r y t h i n g.
I know I sound like a freakin broken record.
I have no one really that I have to take care of anymore, so to speak .  
Everyone is self-suffient.
Thats a good thing right?
Which leaves me with all kinds of time.
T I M E.
So……………….Where does that leave me?
Who am I ? Now
What do I want to do with my life?
Everytime I say that it makes me think of that song by Twisted Sister. “What do you want to do with your life.”
Funny huh.
I know I have a million options. I just have to choose one and run with it.
I’m just troubled right now, about which option to choose.
You know, I always share with YOU.
All the things that are going on in my life.
You all give me some awesome feed back, advice, and opinions.
 I love that you all want to help me.
You are amazing people.
I just feel like my life is currently in limbo.
Of what? I don’t freakin know.
Like I need to make a decision right now on what path to take next.
Why is it, I feel like its something I have to do NOW?
Today?
I am not depressed. I'm just struggling.
Why do I feel the pressure of making a decision?
 This is not like me. I am not a indicisive type of person.
This is why this sudden state has me a bit concerned.
I need to quit thinking
and
just do IT.

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