What is my purpose?

Everyone knows the sportsman and I are struggling.

REALLY struggling right now.

I know that it is partly(ok, alot ) my fault because of how I am. I take full blame for that part of our problems. I am married and living with the sportsman. These are two things that I don’t do well.
Marriage = No
Living with someone= hell no


Even though I warned the sportsman of these things in the beginning, he still wanted to be with me. What the hell was wrong with that man. To leave the bachelor life just for ME.

So in the effort to try and make things work between the sportsman and I, we have been trying some new things.

One of the things was, I asked the sportsman to list 5 things that drew him to me initially. I would also make list about him. As an effort to work on/figure out our marriage and to see if it can be salvaged.


So here is the sportsmans list he made about me.
Honestly I have to say that I was completely caught off guard by his list- I never knew he felt this way. Sometimes people just need to be reminded of how you feel.


1. The way you express yourself. Everyone pretty much knows where the stand.
2. How much you care for everyone.
3. I like your laugh. I really like when you laugh loudly.
4. Your openness to new experiences (although I would like you to expand it with some foods).NOTICE HERE, THE SPORTSMAN DID NOT SAY I NEEDED TO EXPAND IN THE AREA OF SEX –must mean I’m good. LOL
5. The fact that I can be open and honest with you and the vast majority of the time you don’t judge but try to understand, even if you don’t agree.
6. Your loyalty to family and friends.
7. You are outgoing and enjoy having a good time.
8. You have a creative mind and I think it goes well with my analytical mind. I don’t have much creativity and I wish I had more like you.
9. We have similar musical interests, and I love that.
10. Of course, you are beautiful and sexy and when added to all your other qualities, it makes a wonderful package.


I personally think that over time in a relationship that has gone on longer than 5 years there is a point where the couple needs to retrace their steps and remember what drew them to the other person in the beginning.


You know way back when you went out of your way to do whatever to find out about a certain girl or guy. You were on a mission. One look, one conversation and you were all freakin hooked. Your hormones were on super high. Then the more you got to know them, the stronger the urge became to want to be with that person. All the time!!!!


Sometimes later down the road (again way down the freakin road) those are or are not the same things that excite you about them in the here and now.


Life can get  s t a l e. (like seeing holes in under wear) Sometimes you lose track of yourself. You fall into a dull routine of a marriage.
Sure the hell doesn’t sound like any freakin fun time to me.
That’s cause it is NOT!


Sometimes the marriage life needs to be spiced up a bit. You can only “float” for so long in a relationship before it falls apart.


Relationships take effort and hard work to maintain. 

 Do we look happy?

Sometimes this is not for everyone

Sometimes you are forced to make a decision.

I’m done floating.