The SUPER Sex Book

So in an effort to have better sex ,(who the hell doesn’t want that) with the sportsman.
Sorry, I didn’t mean who wouldn’t want better sex with MY sportsman.
I just ment in general who wouldn’t want a better sex life. Ha ha ha.



So I decided that a book might be just what we need.
So I suggested we go and check out the self help books.


You would sooooo  be surprised to know 1) how many weirdos hang out in this sex isle and 2) how many sex help books there are out there. WOW!


My big reason behind the sex “help” book was to better guide the sportsman on how I like to……………….


Well, um what's the word?

FUCK.

It’s not that he sucks at it. Let’s just say he could use some a little help.


The point behind the purchase of the sex book is, I’m hopefully wishing that the sportsman will read the book with me, and then he won’t feel so much like I am “instructing” him.


My goal is NOT to make him feel completely incompetent but to help him learn new things.


Shouldn’t he be open to new things? Shouldn’t he want to please me? Whatever it takes?


I am a firm believer that a good sex life is a big super big huge monstorous part of a marriage/relationship.


No, it’s not  e v e r y t h i n g  but it is very important.


So the sportsman and I went to Barnes and Knoble to look for the book that would be right for US.

The sportsman mostly looked uncomfortable, while I went thru every book on a freakin mission.
I mean come on its not like we were in a damn porn shop.


I didn’t have a problem with it at all. I made sure we looked thru every damn book they had to offer, as to make sure we picked the right one.


Hello, maybe this is part of our problem. The sportsman refuses to loosen up and move out of his comfort zone.


So after looking thru literally every book they had, I found a great one. It’s called “SuperSex”.


Now that’s a freakin title for a book!


It caught my eye that’s for damn sure. Plus there are all kinds of freakin pictures. Love photos!!!!

You know its that visual thing. wink wink

How can you go wrong there?


We have had the book for a week now. Let me just say that my intentions were for the sportsman to learn some new things, when what has really happened is I am learning some new things myself.

Knowledge is power.

So far the book is just making the sportsman horny as hell. Not really what I was looking for. We have already established that he is horny all the time.

So I will keep working on him.

And

keep you updated
on our progress.

The Romantic Sportsman

After leaving my sportsman for a couple of days. When I returned the sportsman and I had a sit down.

We talked. Really what I mean is, I talked.  Then I cried.
I expressed myself.
I shared what was making me so unhappy.


Then the sportsman expressed what was making him unhappy.
Then I cried some more.
I hate crying. It just freakin sucks.


 So the beginning of the week was a real tough one.


Then the sportsman approached me and said that he had something special planned for the upcoming weekend.


I was a little leary, of spending a whole day alone with the sportsman. Much less an entire weekend alone.  Since, as I said before we are really struggling right now. But I agreed to it anyways. I am always open to try new things, at least once.


The sportsman never told me what or where we were going. It was all a BIG surprise. Which I have to say I really liked. I love surprises. I give him a freakin A for effort!


So starting off that morning, I was kinda in a funk (as you know from a prev. emotional issue I was having).
The sportsman and I hit the gym first thing and then we went home to get ready for our “special” day out together.


So I asked the sportsman, what did I need to wear/take for the day?


His reply was “wear comfortable shoes and shorts”. My reply to that was, "so I don’t need to wear a bra or panties?" Ha ha ha

I know always the freakin comedian.

Of course his reply was “ panties are opptional”.

So you know me, I went without. It was after all a really freakin HOT day out.


So far that morning we were getting along, so I figured how bad could the day be? We drove for what seemed like forever (not really). We had a good time talking in the car, just the two of us. Alone.

No kids, no dogs, no one but US.

I even turned my cell phone off.

(well at least for a couple of hours anyways)

Our final destination was Lawrence Ks. Which is where the Sportsman went to college. It's a big college town.


They have awesome shops and really cool hippy type places to eat and hang out.


Let me just add that I was soooooo hoping that our day he had planned, was not us going golfing.

Not that I don’t want to eventually, but for our “special” day alone together,  I just really didn’t want it to go golfing. I was sooooo greatly relieved to see it was something else.


The sportsman even researched and found a great place for lunch that had veggie burgers just for me.

Ahhhhhhh, how freakin sweet is that?

So we walked, talked, shopped, ate, and had yummy ice cream. We totally enjoyed the day alone together. Then we headed for home.


The original plan was to go to the Royals game after, ( I l o v e baseball ) but honestly, after walking all day in the heat I just wasn’t up for being out in the sun anymore for the day.

So I guess there might still be hope yet,

 for the sportsman and me?

Hack/Slash Sketch Cards

I'm happy to announce I'll be contributing to the Hack/Slash Sketch Card Set from 5finity. Got the blanks in the mail yesterday.

My Set for Jim Mahfood's "Mixtape"

Here is the complete set I did for 5finity's and Jim Mahfood's "Mixtape". The first two are my Artist Exclusives that I have for sale. If you're interested in one of them, just let me know. I'll also be doing 5 cards for their March of Dimes Charity Auction. So look for those soon!

The Sportsman, A Fire Fighter?

Why not to, tell your spouse they should make a carreer change.



So I have been watching “Resuce Me”
( a fire fighter show) on FX with Dennis Leary.

I have to say I just love this show. It reminds me that I really love fire fighters.

My Step-dad used to be a fire fighter and my uncle was a fire fighter.

It’s such a manly tough type of job. And who wouldn’t want to slide down that pole?
Hello!!! Me!
So, to say that fire fighters have been in my head lately is an understatement.


Anyways, last weekend when the sportsman and I were on our special weekend alone together (we had lots of time to talk) I happened to mentioned, that I thought he should be a fire fighter. His current job isn’t all that secure and fire fighters are always needed. No?


So I told the sportsman that he should check into it.
I was dead serious. As a back up plan.


That was the last time we talked about "it"
(fire fighters).


However, that same day and many times previously (in our marriage) I have mentioned to the sportsman that I would like for him to get a motorcycle.
I love motorcycles.


We are getting to the point in our lives(as soon as the soccerboy and my daughter moves outs) where we could go some place for a weekend on a long ride and not have to worry about any kids. Doesn't that sound like an awesome good time?


So the other morning we were in the shower together and I mention to the sportsman again, just joking about the fire fighter thing.


To my surprise, the sportsman turned and looked me dead in the eye and ask me if I was having an affair with a fire fighter, who drives a motorcycle.
I busted out laughing.


My reply was “ are you freakin serious”?
I am soooooo not having any affair with any fire fighter.


Sounds to me like the sportsman is just a tad bit on the paranoid side. What cha think?

Can't anyone take a freakin joke anymore.

Geez.
Chill the fuck out already.

The low down or down low on BJ's

I thought I would start this Monday morning off with a BANG.
So I'm gonna discuss a topic that makes some people feel a little prickly.


The topic is "B.J.'s".
I want to get the low down on them.



The giving of them. Well and mens thoughts on the receving of them.


I get it that this can be a touchy subject for some. I also know its not for everyone.

It can be hard subject for some to talk about, especially for those who have a hard time discussing “sexual” types of things anyways.


So since I don’t have an issue with discussing this type of thing I’m ok with asking the questions that I know a lot of women want to know the freakin answers to.


What I really want to know is when a guy goes on and on about how freakin a w e s o m e a girl is at B.J.’s does he really mean it?
Or
is it just a way to cheer a girl on and help her get more into the “giving” process? Basically for his benefit.


Because I have been told in the past that I am really good great freakin awesome. So does that mean that I AM really good?

The sportsman has said that he likes it but he doesn’t really express himself, that I am really good. Hmmmmm, now that doesn't sound very convincing.


So now I wonder, maybe I am not really good at all.
Maybe I really s u c k. No pun intended.


Can one really suck at giving a B.J.? Is there a wrong way to give one? Are there practice methods that can be used to become better?


Is it like when a girl fakes an orgasm? You don’t want the other person to feel like shit or that they aren’t pulling their weight so you fake it. You act like you’re really freakin into it and enjoying it, all for their benefit of course. (and No I have never faked it)


What are the real signs that you are awesome at it? Besides the obvious.
What should you do to be awesome at it?

Is there a secret art to it that women don’t know about? That only a man can share? Stuff that you cant get from a book.


These are things that I think are important to know if you want your sex life to be awesome. Or at the very least not grow stale.

Am I wrong here?

Awesome BAND of the week- The Stones

This weeks band pick is one of my all time fav’s!!!
One of my favorite songs is off the “Sticky Fingers “ album.

It's called “Can't you hear me knocking”.

LOVE IT!!!
It has a very special meaning to me.

I would love to have their box set, so if anyone out there wants to buy it for me I would greatly appreciate it. wink wink

 
  
 
 
The Rolling Stones are an English rock band formed in April 1962 by Brian Jones.



After signing to Decca Records in 1963, the band changed their name from "The Rollin' Stones" to "The Rolling Stones".


The Rolling Stones are notable in modern popular music for assimilating various musical genres into their own collective sound.

Band Members
Brian Jones, guitarist and harmonica player
Ian Stewart, pianist
Mick Jagger, lead vocals, harmonica, percussion, guitar, bass, keyboards
Keith Richards, guitars, vocals, bass, keyboards
Ronnie Wood , guitars, backing vocals, bass
Charlie Watts, drums, percussion
Darryl Jones , bass

Brian Jones initially led the band, but Jagger and Richards assumed band leadership after becoming prolific hit songwriters and after Jones became increasingly erratic.


In 1969 Mick Taylor joined the band on guitar shortly before Jones' untimely death until quitting in 1974. Since then guitarist Ronnie Wood has been with the band.


Stewart was taken from the official lineup in 1963 to continue as the band's road manager and occasional keyboardist until his death in 1985.


Wyman left in 1990 and was replaced by Darryl Jones as the primary bassist.


The Rolling Stones were first popular in Europe and became popular in North America during the British Invasion of the early sixties. The Rolling Stones have released 22 studio albums in the UK (24 in the US), eight concert albums (nine in the US). Album sales estimated at more than 200 million worldwide.


In 1989 The Rolling Stones were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.


2004 they ranked number 4 in Rolling Stone magazine's 100 Greatest Artists of All Time.


In 2008, Billboard magazine ranked The Rolling Stones at number ten on "The Billboard Hot 100 Top All-Time Artists".

Studio Albums
1964 The Rolling Stones (UK)
1964 England's Newest Hit Makers (US)
1964 12 X 5
1965 The Rolling Stones No. 2
1965 The Rolling Stones, Now!
1965 Out of Our Heads (US)
1965 Out of Our Heads (UK)
1965 December's Children (And Everybody's)
1966 Aftermath (UK)
1966 Aftermath (US)
1967 Between the Buttons (UK)
1967 Between the Buttons (US)
1967 Their Satanic Majesties Request
1968 Beggars Banquet
1969 Let It Bleed
1971 Sticky Fingers
1972 Exile on Main St.
1973 Goats Head Soup
1974 It's Only Rock 'n' Roll
1976 Black and Blue
1978 Some Girls
1980 Emotional Rescue
1981 Tattoo You
1983 Undercover
1986 Dirty Work
1989 Steel Wheels
1994 Voodoo Lounge
1997 Bridges to Babylon
2005 A Bigger Bang

What we'd like to see Lady Gaga wear in concert

Lady Gaga hits the American Airlines Center in Dallas. The latest Quick Listoon ponders what she might wear.

What is my purpose?

Everyone knows the sportsman and I are struggling.

REALLY struggling right now.

I know that it is partly(ok, alot ) my fault because of how I am. I take full blame for that part of our problems. I am married and living with the sportsman. These are two things that I don’t do well.
Marriage = No
Living with someone= hell no


Even though I warned the sportsman of these things in the beginning, he still wanted to be with me. What the hell was wrong with that man. To leave the bachelor life just for ME.

So in the effort to try and make things work between the sportsman and I, we have been trying some new things.

One of the things was, I asked the sportsman to list 5 things that drew him to me initially. I would also make list about him. As an effort to work on/figure out our marriage and to see if it can be salvaged.


So here is the sportsmans list he made about me.
Honestly I have to say that I was completely caught off guard by his list- I never knew he felt this way. Sometimes people just need to be reminded of how you feel.


1. The way you express yourself. Everyone pretty much knows where the stand.
2. How much you care for everyone.
3. I like your laugh. I really like when you laugh loudly.
4. Your openness to new experiences (although I would like you to expand it with some foods).NOTICE HERE, THE SPORTSMAN DID NOT SAY I NEEDED TO EXPAND IN THE AREA OF SEX –must mean I’m good. LOL
5. The fact that I can be open and honest with you and the vast majority of the time you don’t judge but try to understand, even if you don’t agree.
6. Your loyalty to family and friends.
7. You are outgoing and enjoy having a good time.
8. You have a creative mind and I think it goes well with my analytical mind. I don’t have much creativity and I wish I had more like you.
9. We have similar musical interests, and I love that.
10. Of course, you are beautiful and sexy and when added to all your other qualities, it makes a wonderful package.


I personally think that over time in a relationship that has gone on longer than 5 years there is a point where the couple needs to retrace their steps and remember what drew them to the other person in the beginning.


You know way back when you went out of your way to do whatever to find out about a certain girl or guy. You were on a mission. One look, one conversation and you were all freakin hooked. Your hormones were on super high. Then the more you got to know them, the stronger the urge became to want to be with that person. All the time!!!!


Sometimes later down the road (again way down the freakin road) those are or are not the same things that excite you about them in the here and now.


Life can get  s t a l e. (like seeing holes in under wear) Sometimes you lose track of yourself. You fall into a dull routine of a marriage.
Sure the hell doesn’t sound like any freakin fun time to me.
That’s cause it is NOT!


Sometimes the marriage life needs to be spiced up a bit. You can only “float” for so long in a relationship before it falls apart.


Relationships take effort and hard work to maintain. 

 Do we look happy?

Sometimes this is not for everyone

Sometimes you are forced to make a decision.

I’m done floating.

Louisville Slugger and the Black Snake

Let me just tell YOU what a badass I really am and what a bunch of wimpy men I have living in my house.



Let me first remind you that I have 3 very small itty bitty tiny dogs.


So last week, I put the wiener dog outside.

The neighbor dogs were barking like complete jackasses at the freakin fence.

No big deal they arent the brightest bulbs.

I just assumed that there was a frog or something over there. We frequently have large frogs in the yard that piss off the dogs.


So I thought nothing of it when the dogs were going ballistic about something at the fence line.


I might also add that the neighbor dogs run a close 2nd on intelligence to my daughters dog “Moog”.


So the soccerboy comes running inside yelling there is a huge black snake out there. We need to get the wiener dog in.


We do not need any big black snakes eating my little doggie.


Let me back it up here for a moment. Did I mention that the sportsman was home, soccerboy was there, and my daughters finance was there.


THREE men at home all at the same time.


So I ran out back with a old louisville slugger bat(that we keep at the back door) and grab the wiener dog and hand him off to the soccerboy.


I ran over to the fence.
Swing and a miss.
Boy this fucker was huge alright and long. I don’t know if I can do this all by myself.


My first thought was to get it away from the fence so the other two idot dogs won’t get hurt.


However, every time I poked the bat at the snake it kept charging at me. WTF!


Which at this point was really pissing me off!!!!


I can’t really tell you just how many times I swung the bat and connected with this damn snake but it was a lot.


Finally I got it cornered under one of my elephant ear plants (which now looks like total hell) and I beat the crap out of this snake. My intentions were to grab it and throw it in another area or in the creek but since it kept charging at me that wasn’t going to happen.


So finally when the snake was incapacitated, I looked over and the soccerboy was standing there inside the house at the back door watching the whole freakin time.


So I motion for him to come out, as I have this damn snake hanging in the air by his tail. I instructed him to go get the damn sportsman and a plastic sack.


I am glad to say that no one caught me on video , cause the whole time I was out in the back yard beating the shit out of the snake I was in my undies and a tiny see thru t-shirt with no bra on.

Not something you want caught on video.

Animal cruelty and me half naked.

Bad combo.

I should of been a Dude

I am beginning to think that I should have been a guy.
I can appreciate a nice piece of ass. I like fast muscle cars. I even love sports.

My one down fall is, I do like to cuddle, like no other.

BUT when its all over at the end of the night. I want your sweet ass to go home.
I like/enjoy my space and time alone.

Don't hate me for being honest.

The difference is, I sooooooo prefer to remember guys when they look good, smell nice, and taste yummy.

That’s why I don’t like (prefer not to) to live with guys(well really anyone).
I like/love to visit, hang out, and go places together.
But..................................
then at the end of the day everyone needs to go to their own place.

Ok, maybe a sleep over here and there is ok, but don't get too freakin comfortable.

Now don’t get me wrong I don’t have a problem with the caring or being romantic part (which most men are lacking in this area).

I can be v e r y romantic.

I love to show effection.

I love to be loved.
I'm just very selective in who receives my affection is all.
With my creative mind, you know I can come up with some crazy "romantic" shit.

I guess I know that I am different. I'm ok with that.

Not sure if this makes me

 better or worse

than the average women.

But I am who I am.

And I'm not gonna change for just
anyone.
and
you would have to be
 pretty damn special.

Life- Death- and Let me just Live my Freakin Life

It has happened to me again. My health has gotten in the way of me living my life.

I have to say that it honestly PISSES ME OFF!!!

More importantly it has gotten in the way of my relationships with others.

One of the reasons I try not to tell people too about my health or the details of it is because I don’t want to be treated differently.

You know what I'm freakin talking about. Anytime you have known someone who was sick you worry about them and handle them with delicate hands. You treat them differently.

 You know that you do!!!!

The new ME- The tattoo

I have decided with all of the new things that I have been trying out lately, (cause I want to experience everything life has to offer) that maybe I will get a t a t t o o. Yes you heard me right.

I want to live life to the absoulute freakin fullest people.


Now I know in the past I have complained about all my daughters tattoos. My only complaint with her has been 1) she was too young to make such a permanent decision and 2) the locations she got her tattoos at were all very visible.


Not that I had a problem with tattoos in general. I have always been worried that I couldn’t handle pain involved.


So I called all of my doctors to ask their opinions. To see if with all my allergic reactions to things (due to my freakin health) that I would be ok to get a tattoo. I even got on line and did some research to see if I did have a reaction what would really happen. I mean really how bad could it be?

Now I am sure that with all that said, you’re wondering what I would get and where I would get it.

So did I mention that the only person that is on board with this is, my daughter and one of my doctors.


The sportsman said NO. My mother I am pretty sure is against it, and I have had a couple of friends question if this is the right thing to do with my health and all.

I say hell yeah!!!!!!

So I was thinking that I would get the Jesus fish. I was thinking I would put it way down on my ankle.


The bigger point behind the Jesus fish is similar to the wwjd bracelets. It would serve as a reminder for me to be a better person. To be more like Christ.


And we all know that I could use a little reminder now and again that I could be a lot better of a person. No?


So I will let you know and be sure to share photos when I actually go in to get it done. Currently my daughter says she is off work next Wednesday and that we should go.

Hmmmmmmmm, very tempting.

Drafting off the FED X Truck

The other day my soccerboy and I were out driving. We were flying down the highway. Kinda in a hurry. Well sorta, mostly I just drive fast, cause I can.
I enjoy the speed. The wind in my hair. The loud music playing on my ipod. Breathing in the fresh air.

L i v i n g!

The closest thing to flying like a bird. No?

So the soccerboy and I were driving down the highway and we got behind this Fed X truck. Then I realized that it was pulling us along. Whats the word for that? Oh yeah drafting. It was pretty neat. Doesn’t that save on gas no? Or do I have it all wrong.


So we did that for a few miles until I got tired of going so slow. So we took off and were zipping in and out of the traffic. We did have someplace to be after all, at a specific time.

Then we got stuck behind a mini van that wouldn’t abide by the rules of the road and get the hell over. Dude, Out of my freakin way!!!!!


So after the mini van finally got over, I told the soccerboy to give them a nice christain wav. He asked me if that ment to flip them off. Seriously? I told him no just wav nicely. Geez soccerboy.


Let me stop right there. Yes, I know this probably doesn’t look good in front of my 15 year old who is learning to drive. Zipping in and out and at the speed I was going.But I got it covered.

WE have had the “talk”. No the other one. silly.
You know the one about driving and speed. About how it requires years and many hours of drive time to be an excellent driver. Part of that also is confidence. You don’t want to be too over confident however.


My soccerboy totally understands all this. He knows he has a lot to learn and many more hours on the road to be as good of driver as I am.


I really am a awesome driver. I did grow up after all around the race track. My dad does own a body shop. I know a lot about cars.


I have had minimal tickets in my lifetime (under 4) and I have had only 1 wreck (that wasn’t my fault).


My soccerboy has even commented on how good of a driver he thinks I am. Well compared to the sportsman anyways.


However, on this particular day he made a statement that even though I was a good driver I was kinda scaring the shit out of him just a little.


So I slowed down. For my soccerboy.


I have no doubt that even with my soccerboys new car (mustang) that he will ever be the responsible non-rule breaking kid he has always been.

It’s not to say that I won’t continue to ride his ass all the time about being responsible.

Roller Derby

So my big plan was to take the sportsman to watch some roller derby for his birthday. I think it’s a pretty freakin cool thing. Also, what guys don’t like to watch girls skating in fish net hose and short skirts who are body checking other girls? It’s just damn awesome!!!

So I made plans long ago to get a bunch of the sportsmans friends together from his home town to come down and help him celebrate his birthday.


So we all met up for drinks before hand and then head on over. Good Times Baby!


Now the friends I invited, the sportsman has been friends with since H.S. So when these guys get together not only is there talk of the “ole” days but there is a lot of drinking.

Which is all good. I was the DD for the night. It was actually pretty freakin funny to watch them together. Just a group of good ole boys hanging out.

Now for those of you who have never watched LIVE roller derby, here is just a little bit 411 about the game.


Jammers wear stars on their helmets. Pivots wear stripes on their helmets. Blockers, well they freakin BLOCK shit.

One go around of the derby is called a “Jam”. Jams last 2 minutes.

Body checking from the front and side is allowed.
Body checking from behind is NOT allowed.
No punching/albowing to the face.
No riping off of any clothes.
No tripping.
No attacking of the officals.
All these things will get you stuck in the penalty box.

Now, I think I have found my new calling in life. Yes! I think I could be a roller derby girl. I am in good physical shape (strong thigh muscles- wink wink) and I can be just as mean as the next bitch. Oh yeah and I can skate.


My only drawback is that I don’t have much padding. So if I get knocked on my ass (which there is a 90% to definate possibility that would happen) I will probably break my ass. IS that even possible?


Plus I bet I would look damn hot in some fish net and a short skirt. Plus, I already have my name picked out. “Kitty Kat”.
Well really a friend gave me that name. Of course I'm not really sure what it means, but...............
Don’t you just freakin LOVE it????
I haven't yet decided on what my number would be.
Any thoughts?


So as ususal, I took some photos. I love to document great moments. However, it was with my lovely iphone, that freakin sucks! But I will share the photos anyways. I also bought myself a kick ass Vixens t-shirt. I don't have a photo of me in it yet. But I will share it soon.


So after the roller derby fun was over, I took the sportsman and his buddies to the bar down the street. After all the derby excitement, they weren’t ready to call it a night.

However, the bar was pretty much dead and they weren’t serving food anymore. After all that drinking the guys were freakin hungery.


So I drove them to get some food and we headed back to our house so they could eat, drink and bullshit the rest of the night away in the man cave. Of course there was cake involved too.


In the end, all the boys crashed at our house and then left the next morning. The evening/birthday was a big hit. The sportsman had a great time.

So what do you think? Should I find out when the try outs are for the Vixens and show up?