Sunless Tanning and Sex

So theres this chick at work, and she goes to the same gym as I. The big difference is she is always wearing skirts, (let me mention she also has great legs) which I never do cause I need a tan. I am as pasty white. WHITE as they come.



All along, I just assumed she went to the tanning beds. So I finally asked her yesterday, I was surprised to find out that she uses the sunless tanning lotions.

OMG, I couldn’t believe it, I even asked if I could take a closer look. No, I am not a weirdo. I just wanted to see if you could really tell. The answer is NO. I could not tell.


So now I’m all excited. Since technically with lupus you are not supposed to be out in the sun. Of course I don't pay much attention to rules/restrictions.

Come on people, my son plays soccer duh. How can I not be out in the sun. So I asked this work chickie the brand she used.


Since I have not so fond memories from back in the day when the tanning lotions left a lot to be desired. I vividly remember once having a lovely glow of “Orange”. Any of you had this happen? Or is it an 80's thing? At least I never made the mistake of putting that crap on my face.


So with this new revelation, I was very excited to try it myself. Right after work I rushed out to buy some. Did you know this shit comes in a firming lotion also???


Now I personally have never bought any firming products, (not that I don’t need them) but let’s be real here, I just don't think those kinds of things work. So when I purchased this new product with the “firming” stuff added, I thought what the hey. I’ll try it.


Now, this shit says when you apply it you should let it dry before putting any clothes on. I don’t have a problem with that. The big issue is with my sportsman.

Now you all know, that I have a sportsman who is 5 years younger than me. So it is to be expected that there is alot of sex going on in my household. It's a freakin given.


So around my house if you are naked even for a nano second, my sportsman thinks it means it's “GO” time. My sportsman is like most typical men. Always trying to cop a feel.


I tried to explain it to him that I was just letting my lotion dry. Seriously man! No such luck. I told him I had to get to work early. I was very insistant. He wasn't buying it. Honestly, I spent more time swating him away. In the end, I just gave in. I know, I make it sounds so glamorous.  I just wasn't in the mood to fuck around and I didn't want him to screw up my new possible tan.  If he messes it up, it will be his ass!


So to report on the sunless tanning lotion, the firming part is AWESOME, ( I can already feel my ass tightening up. Not really but hello, I can pretend right?) the tanning part seems to be working like a charm so far. Of course, I am only 2 days into it.

I’ll keep you posted.