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Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Aldo Nova says, "Life is just a Fantasy, Can you live this Fantasy life"

I know after reading this, it might sound like I was a bit of a whore, but that’s just not so! Of course I wasn’t a prude either, I see myself more as, somewhere in between. Then again I have said that I would try anything once (within reason of course). 
 I remember during my “dating years” my step mom telling me that I shouldn’t settle down with anyone early, I should play the field.


There are too many men out there to settle down with just one in H.S. However she was also the person who told me to go for a nice young man whose family had money. So I’m not so sure now that I should have taken any of her advice back then.


This is partly why I dated so many guys in high school. I was just playing the field. I don’t think I was ever really serious with any “one” guy. In fact I’m pretty sure that I dated multiple guys at the same time, from different schools of course. I was just having fun, living life. Why wouldn’t you, it’s the last time in your life that you will be living with minimal responsibilities.


I haven’t really thought about all the guys I dated, in my life time. I am 40 something after all. Why go back and count? I can’t even go thru the year book to count the guys that I dated, cause I dated alot from other schools. I guess I could blame some of this on the fact that I drank a lot during these years. I am sure that I lost a few brain cells from this period in my life. Maybe that’s why I am so directionally challenged or the reason for my horrible math skills. Who knows and does it really matter now?


Even if I really tried hard, I am not sure I could name them all off, I’m better at remembering people’s faces. WTF, can you name all yours off?  Besides, I am happily married now. The only reason I have even thought about my past is, my kids have gone and/or now going to school with several of the kids fathers I dated back then.


Crazy that’s what happens when you still live in the same area you grew up. You run into all kinds of people and then there is FB, where I have re-connected with over half the people I went to H.S. with, including the ones I dated. It’s some what awkward to have an old boyfriend ask you to be their friend again after 20+ years. What is there really to talk about, if you dumped them 20 years ago. I’m thinking there must have been a good reason for the break up.


Here’s the part that creeps my kids out, when I mention to them how I know their friends fathers. I don’t give them details; seriously what kind of mom do you think I am. It’s just since I do know a lot of the fathers, they questioning what kind of person I was back then.


My son finally asked me one day, “Geez, how many guys did you date mom”? I tried to explain that times were different back then. Let me also explain that dating doesn’t mean sleeping with. That was reserved for only the most special person.


Teens back then were certainly different than teens now, today they go around and give blow jobs and say they aren’t having sex. What the hell do you call that then? I hardly think it's appropriate behavior.  I didn't give my first BJ till I was at least 18.  I'm just jackin with you.  Do you really think I would tell you such an intimate detail?   I won’t even go there right now, maybe some other time, since I can write pages on just this subject alone.

My point is I have tried to raise my kids to where they don’t focus “finding” someone. That school/sports is the most important part of their life right now and they will have years to find someone and have a relationship with them. Why add such a burden of a relationship to yourself at this age, when you’re supposed to be enjoying all that life has to offer you. I know it’s hard at the “teen stage” in ones life with all the hormones going crazy.


This is why I make sure I talk to my kids about everything, even the things they prefer not to talk to their “mom” about. I just don’t want my kids to follow in my foot steps. I got married right out of H. S., mostly just to run away, from growing up. Bad choice. I just wasn’t ready to grow up yet, I needed more time. But I’ve learned you can run but you can not hide, eventually you have to grow up.
 
Doesn’t that just bite the big one!

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